keep calm and endure the pain

assalamualaikum. 3rd week of class for sem 8th. right now im feeling soooooo sad. i cant deny my feelings. im tired already. why they always like to seize something precious from me? am i that threatening to them? my good friend aka my classmate starts to create a distance away from me and get close to someone that i really hate for real. there're reasons for i hate her. she deserves my hatred towards her. she's so hypocrite, two-faced and perangai mcm anak %^&%@#. I dont wanna curse here but i cant help it. maybe its a gift (i guess), that i can see through people's colour. she has this dark side that only me had notice. none of my classmates realize that about her.

ok so three of us had some bad history last two sems. well, its about our group projects. and i learned much. but my so-called-ex-close-friend never see her as someone annoying. rather, she chooses that freaking annoying girl over me. i donno what to say. i'll just trying to be cool. i know who i am. nothings can change me. let they speak bad about me, i dont care anymore. nevertheless, i dont wanna create any troubles anymore. just....

the worse of the worse

assalamualaikum. hi. dh lama tak update blog ni. last update pon masa bulan 2 or 3 haritu if tak silap. masa aku praktikal dulu. ok now bulan sept, aku dh mula sem baru di minggu kedua. well, 4 months to go before i end my study. actually right now i'm having a very tough and hard time. u had no idea what ive been goin through and what i have felt. nevertheless, let me tell u my feelings. i am soooo depressed, stress, helpless, hopeless, anxious, and agitated right now. u know, i'd made a very wrong decision and i receive the consequences now. i feel so regret right now. they say it is not good to think about what had happens. anyway i can't help myself from feeling that way. i am blaming myself right now. i donno since when i've been this fool. i always made a rush decision, and now i pay the price. im suffering inside. and i've met a dead ends. i donno how to solve my problems. (im not telling here the reasons, just what i feel).

return back to the class after practical for one sems, its quite hard. i couldnt focus much. i lost track. im feeling depressed. somehow i missed my practical life. it was actually all better than being here studying right now.

anyway this is my last sems here, i wish i can get as many sweet memories as i can. but seeing the situation now, it may sounds impossible. *sigh