4 June 2015


He asked me tempoh hari, "Syakila rasa A boleh sembuh tak?". I answered him by saying, " A boleh sembuh..Syakila yakin 106%..hehe". Sempat lagi aku melawak dgn dia. Like always.

Actually, I lied to him.

I doubt that he can be cured. I doubt he can recovered.

In the end, he's gonna die. And I will be left brokenhearted. When i typed the word "die", you donno how much it's hurt. It's killing me. It's killed me to say that.

Praying and supporting you, I'll always be. I don't want to be attached to you intensely. You'll be gone anyway. I know by saying this, I am mean. Really MEAN. I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I don't want to grieve. Damn! After some time for sure I'll cry a lot reading this! I will feel regret run through my bonds.

Sometimes it is really strange that I can read what you felt. It's like we are one. You are me. And I am you. It's just that you are smarter than me, brilliant.

Nevertheless, deep inside here, I pray you can be cured. I pray for some miracles from Allah. I pray for you to be happy in this world. The world without my presence of course.

Allah..jauhi aku daripada kesedihan yg sia-sia.

31 January 2015

awesome 2015

hi, its 2015 already. and im technically 24 years old. wow! and alhamdulillah, i just finished my undergrade study, and soon will be graduated. Yeayyy

okay, 24th january 2015 had been one of the hellish and painful day in my life. I'd been dump.

its been a week now. and im started to get cool with it. i dont even cry anymore.! you see, sometimes we cannot get what we want. so we have to accept the fact.just move on bcoz the another happiness is just down this roadd. THE BEST HAS YET TO COME.

so, LESSONS LEARNED. words are CHEAP  and don't trust people easily after this.

22 September 2014

keep calm and endure the pain

assalamualaikum. 3rd week of class for sem 8th. right now im feeling soooooo sad. i cant deny my feelings. im tired already. why they always like to seize something precious from me? am i that threatening to them? my good friend aka my classmate starts to create a distance away from me and get close to someone that i really hate for real. there're reasons for i hate her. she deserves my hatred towards her. she's so hypocrite, two-faced and perangai mcm anak %^&%@#. I dont wanna curse here but i cant help it. maybe its a gift (i guess), that i can see through people's colour. she has this dark side that only me had notice. none of my classmates realize that about her.

ok so three of us had some bad history last two sems. well, its about our group projects. and i learned much. but my so-called-ex-close-friend never see her as someone annoying. rather, she chooses that freaking annoying girl over me. i donno what to say. i'll just trying to be cool. i know who i am. nothings can change me. let they speak bad about me, i dont care anymore. nevertheless, i dont wanna create any troubles anymore. just....